I like to talk about stuff. I also like to complain about stuff. So, this is my stuff.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

My Resume

I'm actually tripple-posting tonight because TSR is down and I have nothing else to do. So if your name is Bonnie or Rebecca, scroll down a few to see the kitten pics.

As you may know, I've been hunting for a job. While reviewing my resume, I wondered why we can't just be truthful, ya know? I mean, can't I just come out and say what I want? Not that I'm going to get it, or that it will be in the job description, but that's what the interview is for!

So here's a truthful version of my resume:

Objective: To finally get a damn job. It's gotta pay at least 30K, but if you want me to look good, let's call it 40. And I want to look good. Now, I don't do reception, and I don't want to order your office supplies. But I'll do stuff on the computer and stuff. And I'll make the coffee if you want. Hell, I'll go out and buy coffee for everyone if you're paying. I am real good at writing, yo, so if you need me to proof-read your letters, I'll do that. I can do all kinds of stuff on the computer, just make sure I'm not on the internet the whole time, because I've been known to do that.

Education: I went to a great school and graduated with a 3.7 GPA. But if you want to compare that with the morons who "went there", you'd know I had it easy. Or if you took into account that most of the teachers were easier to pass than my middle school ones, you might be on to something. I'm not saying it was easy. We had to learn stuff. But I guess I just learn faster than most people, because most of the time I was bored out of my mind.

Work Experience: The last work experience I've had was working for this company through my temp agency. They are too cheap to actually hire someone. Have you ever seen the movie, Joe Versus the Volcano? If you have, picture the same office setting, and you're there. Anyway, I was a receptionist/office assistant and I really hated the receptionist part. The people were nice, though...

References Available Upon Request

3 Nicknames

Oh. By the way, I'm double posting. So if your name is either Bonnie or Rebecca and you were looking forward to seeing some kitten pictures, today is your lucky day. Just scroll down. : )

I've been "tagged" by Rebonka-heimer-giggly-sister to report my nicknames. These are going to take a while. I will have to break them up into different categories.

The Bubba Series - First of all, you should know that I do in fact enjoy Big League Chew, but this is not because I think it looks like I'm chewing tobacky. The Bubba reference should not be confused with that of a southern flavor... And we begin.

  1. Bubba Jones: Is it just me, or is this the masculine form of Barbara Jayne? My dad is the only one who got away with this one, because I figure since I was the fourth girl, I should at least give him something.
  2. Bubba Scrubba: Who needs a bath, anyway?
  3. Bubbalicious: Okay, I lied. This was only a thought, because I liked gum. Please refer to the prologue again if you're confused.

The Obvious Series - These nicknames may be obvious already.

  1. Barb: Duh...
  2. Babs: Is that obvious?
  3. Peanut: If you saw me, you'd think this was obvious.
  4. Barb Wire: I'd love it if I married someone with the last name, "Dwyer", That'd be hott.
  5. Barbarella: Uh-huh.
  6. Barbie: That was a painfully long wait. I think Mattell must be insulted.

The Weirdo Series - These are things that only Weirdos think of. You may want to question yourself.

  1. Bar: Or maybe that's just lazy talk...
  2. Barf: That's creative, in a weird, sort of offensive way...
  3. Barfara: Okay, now you're freaking me out.
  4. Barf-all-over-my-face: We have reached Weirdo status.
  5. Barfara Puker: Such a lovely combination of names to be. I may as well be a GPK.

What? You don't know what a GPK is? Weirdo...

Kitten Pics

Group shot.

Here lies: Little Girl, Pumpkin, Moo Moo, and White Face.

Moo Moo in the garbage can.

Moo Moo, with Pumpkin's tail in the watah.

White Face, the one who fell in the bathtub and was rescued.

Little Girl. She's just the cutest one, timid as anything.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Hi Bonnie

Bonnie still checks my stuff every day. It's kinda sad actually because I don't realize that every day, I am disappointing her subconciously. So I thought I'd throw a bone out.
~To Bonnie~
Last night, I had a dream that you were making fun of my hair. You know, telling me it was nasty and that I needed a haircut. So I was all like, "I can't afford it right now" and you were all like "Seriously, you need it" and tried to throw your debit card at me. Which I did not want at all. So I offered to let you cut it for me and you got all excited. That was the end of the dream, though. Maybe I decided I wasn't in the mood for a nightmare.