My Resume

I'm actually tripple-posting tonight because TSR is down and I have nothing else to do. So if your name is Bonnie or Rebecca, scroll down a few to see the kitten pics.

As you may know, I've been hunting for a job. While reviewing my resume, I wondered why we can't just be truthful, ya know? I mean, can't I just come out and say what I want? Not that I'm going to get it, or that it will be in the job description, but that's what the interview is for!

So here's a truthful version of my resume:

Objective: To finally get a damn job. It's gotta pay at least 30K, but if you want me to look good, let's call it 40. And I want to look good. Now, I don't do reception, and I don't want to order your office supplies. But I'll do stuff on the computer and stuff. And I'll make the coffee if you want. Hell, I'll go out and buy coffee for everyone if you're paying. I am real good at writing, yo, so if you need me to proof-read your letters, I'll do that. I can do all kinds of stuff on the computer, just make sure I'm not on the internet the whole time, because I've been known to do that.

Education: I went to a great school and graduated with a 3.7 GPA. But if you want to compare that with the morons who "went there", you'd know I had it easy. Or if you took into account that most of the teachers were easier to pass than my middle school ones, you might be on to something. I'm not saying it was easy. We had to learn stuff. But I guess I just learn faster than most people, because most of the time I was bored out of my mind.

Work Experience: The last work experience I've had was working for this company through my temp agency. They are too cheap to actually hire someone. Have you ever seen the movie, Joe Versus the Volcano? If you have, picture the same office setting, and you're there. Anyway, I was a receptionist/office assistant and I really hated the receptionist part. The people were nice, though...

References Available Upon Request