I like to talk about stuff. I also like to complain about stuff. So, this is my stuff.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I Hate Dogs!

I really do! I don't mind Blue Baby, but he is still a pain in the @$$!

Can I be allergic to dogs now? It has been working for me with walnuts.

On Sunday, Geoff helped Adam bring a dresser over to our place and he brought Sam (dog) with him. Moo Moo (kitten) was trying to get up in his grill (face) and we kept pushing Moo Moo away. Sam sat between Adam and me for protection and I guess Moo Moo started attacking from the floor. I mean, I guess he did, because all of a sudden Sam was biting my leg off and I was blinded by the pain.

I have massive bruiseage on my calf and it still hurts. I say 'bruiseage' because I don't know if it's one big bruise, or 12. And during perfect skirt weather! I hate dogs!

They always cause me pain and people are ALWAYS making excuses for them...

  • Oh, he's just a dog, he doesn't know any better.
  • He didn't mean to! He was trying to protect you!
  • He's just saying HI!
Please excuse my shoe, it didn't know any better than to kick your dog. It was trying to protect my foot. Hello, I am a shoe!

Dogs smell! I think they smell really bad! And they slobber! Who do they think they are, licking people? It's all slimy and smelly.

  • Cats smell, too
  • Dog saliva kills 99.9% of bacteria.
  • Kisses!!!
Cats smell fine, you are thinking of kitty litter. So does Lysol, but I bet you would be offended if I sprayed Lysol all over your face. Nobody kisses like that.

People, hear me now. I am not going to pretend I like your dog(s) anymore. If you don't have a dog, try not to get one. From now on, I am allergic to dogs. My calf hurts.

disclaimer: I really don't mind Blue Baby.


  • At Thursday, October 06, 2005 6:27:00 PM, Anonymous Chris said…

    I really hate RATS (especially big ones)

  • At Friday, October 07, 2005 7:26:00 PM, Anonymous Chris said…

    Barf-I know we are Yankee fans but we should thank the White Sox for cleaning up baseball. And also thank the Red Sox for being such gracious hosts, there have been a lot of great parties in the visitors' locker room the past couple weeks. Everyone other than Red Sox fans knew these bums can never win two in a row, since only GREAT teams like the Yankees can do that.

  • At Wednesday, October 12, 2005 12:24:00 PM, Blogger Lynsey Auger said…

    you mean to tell me, you PRETENDED to like my poor dog Spike when you came to visit>! Barb, you should be ashamed of yourself. How on earth am I going to break this news to him? He is going to be crushed. I mean CRUSHED. You know how sensitive he is! He just cannot handle this kind of news....and he smells awesome thanks to the coconut bubble bath I gave him this weekend.

  • At Thursday, October 13, 2005 1:43:00 PM, Blogger Barb said…

    Spike isn't so bad, he just wants love... Okay, when you meet my cats you can ignore them all you like! (or maybe they'll ignore you instead...)

  • At Thursday, October 13, 2005 6:41:00 PM, Anonymous Chris said…

    I would like to congradulate you for having almost 1300 visitors without insulting anyone except Spike.

  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 12:04:00 PM, Blogger Lynsey Auger said…

    Spike really is an idiot. Listen to this, he refuses to go outside to pee (and whatever else) in the rain. REFUSES. So, that past 3 days I have come home to find his "business" in the dining room! Hello Spike! Do you think I enjoy this 8 day downpour we have had??? It's completely unacceptable. I was so mad at him I couldn't look at him for like, an hour. It was horrible. He must be gay-nine (a gay canine, get it) because he hates getting his precious fur all wet. So, I got him back by making him stand out in the rain this morning until he did his, you know, outside where it belongs. I own a gay dog. I still love him to pieces though, dining room incidents aside.

  • At Friday, October 14, 2005 12:09:00 PM, Blogger Lynsey Auger said…

    I would also like to add that I am slowly warming up to cats, a little. My little sister has a cat named Callie who is the cutest little thing, after they declawed her because she did try to take out both my sisters eyes at once. It was pretty gruesome. Dont worry about the declawing and Callie not being able to protect herself, because the only thing she really has to fear is my little sister herself. Poor Callie, she just doesn't get a split second alone. Andie (my little sister) likes to put her in a stroller and push her around a lot, and then she wraps her up in a little blanket and tries to feed her like a baby. Poor, Poor Callie. Andie needs some friends or something. Anyway, I am not usually a fan of the cat, but I really became quite attached to Callie. Either that, or I was just purely tying to save her.


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